So many incidents, so little time —   where does one begin?  This is really a business trip, where said Minkey decided it would be a brilliant move to combine a trip to Germany with a trip to Israel.  Which is kind of like going on a trip to Mars and then blasting off for Pluto.  Yes, these countries are that different.  And in either country – I can’t speak the language.  But the nice thing about Germany is they have many signs and menus in English.  Having a menu in English is key.  If you don’t, you are now relying on the questionable English skills of the wait staff to mime what they have to eat.  This makes for an exciting if somewhat stressful dining experience.  My surprise meals have been ok…. one was even downright tasty.  Let’s just say that in Germany, it is easy to do everything, and everything is very clean and orderly, even at the train station.  While in Tel Aviv – you kind of feel like you’re in a country that is less concerned with order or cleanliness…. the difference in automobile care and maintenance is startling between the two countries.  The Israelis, they drive like people possessed and park anywhere.  Really, anywhere.  And, you’d best hit that gas pedal quickly, the second the light is green the honking begins.  I have not personally experienced this yet – I’m working up my courage to embark on a driving expedition next week-end.  Maybe. 

Germany was crisp and frosty – in fact cold…. and grey.  I did not get to do much sight-seeing – short of dinner in what used to be a wine cellar (back in the 17th century) in Stuttgart and a trip to downtown Frankfurt – and the river.  Perhaps the most exciting thing about Frankfurt was the high-water marks on one of the bridges over the river.  Yep, kind of like watching grass grow.  And the thrill of sitting outside to have hot chocolate at a place that provided blankets and overhead heaters ….  and it was very cold.  I did buy a pair of shoes in Frankfurt – because my feet hurt so badly, I could not bear to keep wearing the ones I had …. oh yes, piss poor shoe decisions were made in the mad packing before the trip. 

I experienced the rail system in Germany – and a nice man helped me out with purchasing tickets, (I would never have figured it out in a million years) plus I was not functioning when I landed in Frankfurt.  It was as I remembered – not recommended to have lots of luggage – especially if you are one person (or one minkey).  Chivalry is dead – not one German guy offered to help me get on the train with my crap – instead, they just stood around looking peeved that some idiot foreigner was traveling with this much crap.  And I had to do this twice – Stuttgart was a one night stop, then back to Frankfurt via train.  Ouch.  The second time I was nursing bruises from my fall — no laughing or snickering!  The minkey had some sort of weird light-headed black out moment and sort of rode down a flight of stairs on her knees.  Still not sure how that came about – but it startled the German customers that I was with, just momentarily though.  They pulled me up to my feet immediately, and we kept moving – we were on the way to lunch you see.  Minkey has only fallen down a flight of stairs once before in her entire life…..  and that is a different story, of my 29th birthday that we won’t share right now.  Anyway, I was soon to leave Frankfurt for the warmer climes of Israel.

I have a love/hate relationship with the taxi drivers in Tel Aviv — it started with my first taxi ride from the airport to my hotel — but no, it was not my hotel.  I knew this – I explained this to the taxi driver who disagreed with me, he kept saying ‘there is only one crown plaza!’ I even showed him the address – and he basically ignored me – so I got out.  No tip for you Mr. Taximan…..    The hotel confirmed what I already knew – that I was at the other Crown Plaza — and they were kind of enough to pay for my taxi over there…  Anyway – I’m staying in the Azraeli Towers — 18th floor – which is nice – and quite safe.  The headquarters of the Israeli Defense Forces are across the street.  At the first sign of trouble, I’m headed over there.  There are three towers, with a geometric theme, one is a square, one a circle and the last a triangle.  Clever.  There is also a huge mall as part of the complex – which is constantly packed with people – and soldiers.  The soldiers have their rifles with them – somewhat disconcerting for Americans to see gun-toting people in the mall – I had to control my take cover reflexes when I first encountered this — it certainly does not bother anybody else. 

I’ve been exploring Tel Aviv – on foot mostly.  The one problem I have here, it makes me feel extraordinarily single.  I don’t know if there is some kind of country mandate, but everyone has a significant other and one or more children.  If they don’t have kids, they are pregnant, and if not pregnant, they are definitely with their significant other, as in very touchy-feely with their significant other.  There are kids everywhere – lots of kids.  I went to the Tel Aviv Art Museum today, the painting and sculpture kind, priceless art work and it was crawling with kids … who were trying to touch the paintings.  I thought the museum monitors were going to have heart attacks.  FYI – Tel Aviv Art Museum – not exactly the best museum I’ve visited. 

I made a visit to old Jaffa and the flea market – and I had a guide for this part – (a kind soul from the work place) – who took me to a small hummus place that has ‘the best hummus in Israel’ or so she claims.  It’s a teeny tiny place open to the street with a line-up of people waiting to get their hummus fix.  These folks are fast, it’s communal seating, they take your order as they move you towards a table, and then throw your sodas and bowls of hummus at you (seriously, it was like a beer commercial, they slid cans of soda down the table).  I was not aware that you could ‘take’ your hummus in different ways — now I know.  And I also know that I cannot eat an entire bowl full of hummus – even when it’s stinkin’ good.  (you knew I’d work a ‘stinkin’ in there somewhere!) 

In my wanderings I’ve found several great shopping areas – if only they were open on Saturday!  Everything shuts down for Shabbat, so no restaurants, no shopping, no nada from sunset on Friday until sunset on Saturday.  Sure, that’s a fine thing, but some of us are working the rest of the time, so when can we shop?  Ok, some places are open – because I know people are going out on the town, Tel Aviv is party central — I have not quite experienced that (which is probably a good thing) – only getting out once so far for dinner.  Plenty of time to check out the nightlife.  

I’ll try to shoot for an update next week-end – I’m planning to go north and check out the area around the sea of Galilee — 

ciao!