The public buses in St. Petersburg are NOT for tourists.  I don’t care what any travel site or blogger says, if you don’t speak Russian (or read Cyrillic), then I would advise you to avoid the bus system.  I’m not saying that it can’t be done – I have lived to tell my woeful tale of bus navigation – but it did cost me valuable time and more importantly valuable sanity.

I tend to think that I possess above average intelligence (you may now commence with obnoxious raspberry sounds and other sordid taunts) and consequently tend to think that I can conquer and overcome any challenge – even those challenges that it might be better to walk away from, like navigating the murky and convoluted bus system of St. Petersburg.  Herewith the tale of the Minkey and the Marshrutka …

It all started on an otherwise normal day, when I woke up in a dump in St. Petersburg and again wondered where I was and if I should put my bare feet directly on the floor or prudently cover them with socks.  I was up early because I had an ambitious plan – to visit not one, but two palaces in one day!  I knew it could be done, because ‘they’ said so.  The infamous ‘they’ of various travel blogs and other internet commentaries.

The palaces in question were the Pavlovsk and Catherine Palace.  Both are located in Tsarskoye Selo (Tsars Village), which is technically the town of Pushkin, a kind of suburb of St. Petersburg.  The Catherine Palace is indeed a country residence but for two different Catherines.  Catherine I was the original owner and she received this palace from her husband Peter the Great.  Catherine II inherited the palace and expanded it further.  Yes, that Catherine, otherwise known as ‘the Great’, a German (to be specific Prussian) who married into Russian royalty.  She married Peter the Great’s grandson, Peter III.

HIP FACT:  Did you know that Catherine the Great supported (some say instigated) a coup d’état against her husband?  He was forced to abdicate the throne to her, and then a couple of nobles assassinated the poor guy…   Check her out, this woman makes Hillary Clinton look soft!

SECOND HIP FACT:  Did you know that Catherine the Great had a prodigious appetite for handsome young men?  Very racy goings-on in these palaces… but I digress.

Back to my ambitious plan.  It required the metro, a regional train, and a bus to accomplish a visit to both palaces.  The St Pete metro was a no-brainer – in fact, that is the only public transportation that I actually mastered while in St Pete.  The regional train was tricky because it left from a podunk train station which had virtually no signage anywhere.  I could not even figure out where the train platforms were!  With moments to spare I was quasi-directed (I say that, because there was no English, just gestures) to the train I needed where I confirmed as best I could with the other locals that it was going in the direction I expected.  This means I said the destination name and motioned to the train and they nodded their assent that I was correct.  Oh, the fun is just beginning!  I had some trouble with the correct stop to exit the train – again confirming with locals.  So far so good.

Once off the train I needed to hoof it over to the Pavlovsk or take one of these Marshrutkas, which are small mini-buses.  I actually saw one of these, right outside the train station.  It was number K545 and had labels plastered all over it about the Pavlovsk and Catherine Palace…  Hmmmmm…  But I was not sure I should just hop on that bus without further analysis.  So I walked to the palace.  Approximately 30 minutes later arrived and went through.

Pavlovsk was a gift from Catherine the Great to her son Paul I and his wife Maria Feodorovna.  It is beautiful and has been completely renovated and rebuilt since World War II.  In fact, many of the rooms had a display that showed a picture of an original artwork, statue, or furnishing that was destroyed in the war.  My favorite story though is about how they preserved so many items.  The writing was on the wall, the Russians knew that war with Germany was coming, so they meticulously cataloged all of the items from different palaces and museums and shipped (by train) as much as they could to remote outposts in Siberia.  The rest they put in cellars or buried in the ground, which they did with many of the garden statues.

I found this a recurring theme in St. Petersburg, so many buildings and monuments were basically destroyed during the war, and in every case it appears the Soviets spent MILLIONS of rubles to bring these places back to life.  Interesting how they wanted to preserve that which they fought a revolution to destroy… (sorry straying off topic again).

Right, so I’ve ooo’d and ahhhh’d over this fabulous palace, especially enjoying the Greek Hall where the pillars and other wall décor use malachite (or it’s faux, and I’ve wandered through the gardens (pretty standard fare for 18^th century parks) and it is about time for me to head over to the Catherine Palace, which is a much more grandiose place then Pavlovsk and will require a fair amount of time to explore.  It’s time to catch that mini-bus!  Ha!

 

First I had to decide which bus stop it was – there are two directly across the street from each other.  Neither of the signs provides very helpful information, in fact they don’t even reference those ‘K’ buses, only the regular public bus.  I decide to use Google Maps…  It claims that I can take that K545 bus directly over to the Catherine Palace.  When that mini-bus appears (without the signage I’d seen on those buses earlier) I hopped on and paid my 30 cents.  The one advantage of bus travel – it’s dirt cheap.  I follow along with the google – and we are right on track.  Until the bus turns right and heads away from the city center and the Catherine Palace.  And it keeps going for some time out into neighborhoods of cement block Soviet-style apartments.  I get off the bus at one of those stops.  I am not happy with the google – which has led me astray.  I cross the street and look to get on a public city bus this time, that would go back to the city center.  I’m not sure how I figured that out – but I did, and ended up at the train station which is a fabulous central location because ALL of the buses, the short mini ‘K’s and the big public buses stop somewhere in the magic circle of bus stops that are planted right in front of the station.

I figured out which bus would take me to the Catherine Palace (I think the google told me this one) and sat down on a bench to wait.  This is where I got to watch countless buses come and go, but none of them were the right bus.  This is also where I saw a Russian lady with a full mustache …  really, I kid you not, she could have shaved that sucker.  I was kind of afraid now, and still no bus.  This is also where more than one Russian came up to me and started talking — just talking on and on and I gaze at them and say (obviously in English) that I don’t understand Russian.  They laugh and just keep talking to me in Russian …  I don’t get it.

To be fair, in every country (so far), the people think I am one of them … they ALL make comments or speak to me in their language and I can only shrug my shoulders and say in a language they don’t comprehend that I have no clue what the hell they are talking about.  Apparently I blend in well, this is probably a good thing.  But I am off topic again …

I have waited probably 45 minutes by now and decide that more detective work is needed.  I actually read the sign at my bust stop.  At least, I could see the schedule of times and make a guess about days of the week, which is how I realized that the google had led me astray yet again, because this particular bus only came first thing in the morning …  Now I am peeved.  I don’t entirely recall how I decided which bus to take – I believe I confirmed with the bus driver as I got on that it would go by the palace.  And lucky for me, when we came to that stop he yelled something at me and pointed towards the open bus door.  Because I had no clue, because this bus stop was not near anything that remotely resembled the front, or any part at all, of a palace.  Sigh.

It turns out the palace is at the end of this little lane – and they don’t let traffic get to close to it …  but I can assure you I did not read ONE ARTICLE that indicated ANYTHING about where the bus stop is in relation to the palace.  Sorry, for the all caps, it still aggravates me to no end.  The good news is I made it and there was still time to get in and check out the palace.  In between the twenty busloads of tour groups.

The Catherine Palace is magnificent.  And most of it is not even renovated or available for viewing.  It is in Rococo style, very flamboyant with huge halls and dining rooms covered in curlicue plaster designs that are all gilded.  Catherine II was not overly thrilled with the Rococo style and she had her own apartments updated in Greek Revival style.  But the masterpiece of the palace is the Amber Room.  This is a room where the walls and all the decoration is made out of polished amber backed with gold leaf and mirrors.  I’ve never seen anything like it anywhere in the world.  Literally panels containing different shapes and hues of amber from floor to ceiling.  The original room panels were built in Prussia in the 18^th century and back then they referred to this room as the 8^th wonder of the world.  As you can imagine, this room disappeared during World War II.  It was taken to Konigsberg Castle and then was most likely destroyed when Konigsberg Castle was bombed and shelled at the end of the war.  So, the Russians have painstakingly recreated this room (with help from Germany too).  It took them 24 years and in 2003 they unveiled it once again.  Really amazing.

The park which is beyond huge has a small lake with various boat houses and pavilions and of course ornately designed flora and fauna.  There is another palace, the Alexander Palace nearby, a Chinese-style pagoda, Italian style set of ruins, and on and on and on.  You needed more than a couple of hours to fully digest the Catherine Palace and Park…   Remember that when you visit St. Petersburg.

It was time to go.  This meant I had to face the bus, train, metro scenario all over again.  I was supremely confident though, because I figured I was just doing everything in reverse.  Ha!  I’m waiting for one of those public buses now, and I’ve checked the sign because I know to use the SIGN and not the google.  The bus does not seem to be coming.  A marshrutka turns left in front of our stop and everyone runs across the street and gets on it, except for me and two other ladies.  Hmmmm.  We look at each other quizzically.  Of course, they ask me something in Russian, and miraculously one of the ladies has a vague understanding of English.  Extremely vague.  I learn their names are Nathalia and Ola.  We discover that we are going to the same place!  And even the same street!  (Not hard, Nevsky Prospect is a mega-boulevard).  I can’t explain to them that I was heading to the Pushkin train station.

They decide that I should stick with them and together we will figure it out.  Ha!  They decide we should be at a different bus stop and as we wander in that direction a few more marshrutkas appear.  Each time Nathalia has a conversation with the bus driver.  She always returns more confused than she was before.  It turns out, these ladies are not from St. Pete, but another part of Russia.  These women can speak the flipping language and they can’t figure out which bus we should be taking.  I am starting to think that I am better off navigating on my own…

When the next marshrutka stops I take matters into my own hands and try to ask the driver if this bus is going to the Pushkin train station – you can envision how this conversation went, I literally made ‘choo choo’ sounds and did some kind of gesture with my hand indicating a train (rather humorous in retrospect).  One of the passengers understood my query and yelled that it was going to Moskavskaya train station …  Which was fine for me, that is in St. Pete and there is a metro stop right there.  The metro is my friend.

One of the drawbacks (and there are several) to these mini-buses is they are crammed with people, there is no air flow, and it is hot and manky (hygiene is different over here…).  The other problem is, when you want to get off you need to shout it out to the driver.  That’s right – actually yell out the street name or stop or I don’t know what.  This is not a tourist friendly kind of thing.  It’s a 30-minute ride to St. Pete and I can barely keep my balance, hanging on to whatever parts and pieces of the bus are available as I stand and try not to inhale too much.  The nice Russian gals have paid my fare – because I don’t have any small change and I can’t get close to the bus driver anyway!  They were very kind these two Russians gals, granted, the fare is like 30 cents…    When we finally got back to St. Pete I had to herd the girls off the bus – they did not realize which stop was Moskavskaya — oh my.  But I made it back to my hell hole flat – and all was good.

The Minkey says DO go visit the Catherine Palace and Pavlovsk, perhaps arrange to do it with a guide OR have your hotel make arrangements.  And, probably better to split them between two days …   I don’t recommend travel by bus – it is tricky.  But if you must – I’d suggest the regular public buses, not the marshrutkas…