I’m living next door to a volatile and vocal pack of Pekingese.  I count 4 or 5 different barks.  Or should I say yips and yaps.  Occasionally they howl – all together like wannabe wolves, but very high-pitched.  This was my first wild kingdom encounter at my villa in Sanur Beach.  The pack was routinely agitated and tended to be my wake-up call every day between 6am and 7am.  Oh the joy.

The second encounter was more dangerous  — unrelenting, voracious mosquitos.  These mosquitos don’t mess around – they are supersonic dive bombers, making a beeline for your flesh  – none of this haphazard wafting through the air like I’ve seen from mosquitos in other countries.

Sadly – I must have been confused on my first night in Bali and I left the bed curtains open – thinking they were more for decoration.  Duh.  They are to keep out the flying bloodsuckers.  I was awakened multiple times that night by the telltale siren pitch in my ear – but was too tired to really deal.  My bad.  That was the beginning of the flesh feast that I was to provide for all the insect denizens of Bali over the next eight days.

The bed is none to comfortable either – a mattress over a wooden slatted frame.  I know it’s slats because I can FEEL them …   very challenging for all my bony areas.  Not to mention the droppings all over the top of the bed canopy – who or what left those, and where is it now?  But everything looks so nice at this villa !  How could it possibly be uncomfortable?  And all of the reviews on Airbnb were extremely positive …  Apparently nobody else had the water inexplicably turned off for 12 hours or so (unfortunate when you can’t flush the toilet in a tropical climate!) Hmmmm.

At the crack of dawn on my first morning, the Pekingese chorus began again – and I tossed and turned some trying to find a soft spot – when the earthquake happened.  A 6.4 earthquake which shook the entire house back and forth.  All I could manage was ‘Are you kidding me?  I’m from California for crying out loud!’  Yes – I said all of that out loud.  And then I panicked. We could have a tsunami.  And I’m one kilometer from the water.  At ground level.  I have no idea where to seek higher ground.  I run out of the villa and hear the neighbors chattering – but no sirens – no palpable concern of any kind from anyone (yes, the dogs continued to bark hysterically).  I search the internet – nothing there either.  Hours later I would find something that said there was no danger of tsunami…  Great, thanks for getting that out there so quickly.

Wild kingdom encounter number three turned into a protracted altercation.  Geckos versus myself.  Every time I went in the kitchen I found at least two geckos scurrilously lounging on the counters and/or in the sink.  Apparently they thought I could not see them, as they did not race into hiding.  After further examination I found their headquarters – a fairly manky nest between the rotting wooden window frame and the kitchen cabinets – a narrow dead-end pathway that they had taken over.  Let’s just say it was well covered in gecko poo (and water damaged wood as the kitchen windows leak badly, small rivers in the kitchen during the big rains)…  AND there was a larger green speckled gecko hanging out there – I did not see him venturing out from this nest.  But he certainly did – as evidenced by later activities.

The Geckos and I had words – many times.  But they remained on the counters occasionally flitting across the floor.  It was getting tense.  Initially there were guerrilla tactics imposed by the geckos though their green speckled leader always remained in the shadows.  Taunts were exchanged and stare downs – they were not going to back down easily.

Being somewhat traumatized myself what with constant worry of a creature running across the floors or walls or popping out of the clean dishes (happened more than once), I don’t remember the exact order of events, but there was help from the sturdy soldiers on the villa staff.  One of them removed the Gecko in the sink and set him free outside.  There is no doubt in my mind that he came right back in though, as this house was very open to the beasties.  Feeling cocky after this episode, somewhat later I wandered into the kitchen and found two more geckos – one in the sink, yet again.  Things were fast coming to a head.

Perhaps it was the geckos who sent the spider out on reconnaissance.  Stealthy and fast the Huntsman spider was accosted on the bed curtains and certainly did succeed in a surprise attack that generated palpable fear and a violent scream that even unnerved the Huntsman – he actually cringed.  I’m sorry to say that the Huntsman did not make it – chemical weapons were deployed that rendered him weak and defenseless and then he was unceremoniously removed to die in the pool.  (Yes there is a mini-pool here at the villa).  It was during this battle that I found my secret weapon – the broom.

Years from now the Gecko colony will still be talking about the Battle of the Broom.  I was victorious with superior technology and psychological warfare.  The stupid Geckos kept getting stuck in the sink and they could not get out.  The broom helped them to move up and out (along with my brazen warrior shouts at them to ‘get out – get out – get out!’)  – I did not see them again on the counters after the broom was deployed.

But they had allies squeaky, furry and less sneaky allies.  Allies who wandered in broad daylight across the tops of the walls.  Yeeeessssss, your assumptions are correct – a rat.  Must be a rat because it was way to big for a mouse!  But only one was stupid enough to be seen – musta been a new recruit.  I tried very hard not to really lose it when I saw Mr. Rat.  Not only did I see him, but I heard him (them?) scrabbling about in the roof and occasionally squeaking.  I was close to freaking out now.  Rats are a no-go in my book.

I was beginning to develop a full-blown psychosis, with every tiny sound my head whipped around, and I was constantly brushing at arms, legs, neck, whatever – because I thought something was crawling on me.  Justified, because fifty percent of the time there WAS.  Oh yes boys and girls, Clover was getting a bit paranoid and jumpy.

Luckily, I had reinforcements – the villa staff came to my rescue once again.  Sticky, gooey traps were set for the furry marauders.  My concerns about what the rats would do once trapped seemed to be lost in an English translation problem.  The staff was very clear that they would not kill the rats (’cause I was really worried about a stinkin’ rat losing it’s life – yeah, that was my issue, NOT).  I don’t know if the traps were successful – though on my last night something went down with Mr. Rat as I heard much scuffling and then much squeaking, and then nothing.  Sleep never came easy at this infested villa.

The geckos withdrew but not quietly – there were most certainly night time revelries and the green speckled leader roamed the eaves at night – calling raucously to his lady friends (ok one night he made the mating call – but it is crazy-ass ridiculous, look up Tokay Geckos and listen to it!).  At the time I thought that weird call was a bird!  Yes – perhaps I’d lost so much blood at this point (I have been quite literally eaten alive – by what I don’t know) that brain function was impaired.  I had heard this call many times OUTSIDE – and it sounded like it came from trees (probably did) and I thought it was some funky Indonesian bird!  DUH.  So when I heard that call at midnight, obviously directly in the house, I nearly had a heart attack.  And I yelled into the rafters ‘You can’t be in here!  How can you be in here?! Get the blankety-blank out!’ Only I did not really say ‘blankety-blank’ (trying to protect our innocent readers out there from nasty words…).

The next morning, I spent some time looking up this weird bird and finally discovered that it was the Tokay Gecko – and that they are all over Viet Nam as well as Indonesia.  American soldiers had a very un-PC name for this little guy.  Actually they are not so little they can grow up to 30cm or something (runaway runaway!).

I’ve not even mentioned the creepy crawlies of all sizes and descriptions that roamed the villa – mini-flies, mosquitos, mini-centipedes, spiders, and ants, ants, ants.  One type of ant is so tiny as to be practically invisible – and they were flipping everywhere. I’m serious, I would find these tiny ants crawling on my arms, on my computer, on my feet …  I probably ate some throughout the week (awesome).  Needless to say all the food I had was in the refrigerator.  Whether it needed to be kept cold or not.

BUT – It was not all insect and critter warfare – Bali really is a beautiful island – though I would suggest perhaps a visit up to Ubud – just up in the hills outside of Denpasar (where I was).  In Denpasar I was reminded of LA urban sprawl – as the villages all run together out here.  But in Ubud you could see more of the forest (by the way Indonesia is doing it’s darndest to burn down as much forest as possible – this happens more on Sumatra and Java than Bali.  This is having a catastrophic effect on their environment).  Eight degrees from the equator, it is beyond lush here –it is like plant nirvana.  I’ve never seen such happy birds-of-paradise flowers and bougainvillea which in some places has taken over multiple stories on buildings it’s so huge and bushy.

The prevailing religion here is Hindu and there are something like one million Hindu temples on this island.  I went through one that dates back to the 11^th century.  Wow.  It is kind of like the temples you see in Thailand – very elaborate stone carvings and many different platforms to different Hindu deities.  Everyone must wear a sarong when going through the temple – not sure if this is a Balinese tradition, as I don’t recall doing that in India.

While I was here they celebrated the Balinese New Year – the Balinese calendar is 78 years behind the Gregorian calendar and lucky me I got to be here over New Years.  This includes several days of activities – the coolest being the Ogoh Ogoh parades.  Each village builds large paper mache floats with extremely dramatic scenes – not sure if they are from different stories or what.  You can see a couple of pictures below.  Anyway they hoist these on bamboo frames and groups of men and boys carry them in procession accompanied by some atonal music played on Balinese instruments (think lots of percussion – especially chiming things and drums).  The day after the parades everyone observes Nyepi – the Day of Silence.  Everything is closed – I mean everything – restaurants included, and nobody leaves their house.  True observers won’t even use lights or any type of entertainment device but will sit and contemplate.  I spent a quiet day contemplating my taxes (which are done now!).

I can’t forget about the beach!  Sanur Beach is nice – but I don’t know that it was as nice as Phuket, for instance.  Believe it or not I did not spend much time at the beach.  It was extremely hot and I had my own private pool…  And I was eaten alive at the beach…  Not to mention there were a couple of rainy days – torrential downpours in fact (the roof leaks at the villa).  I explored Sanur which has all kinds of cute restaurants and shops – and may have purchased a few items (falling off the shopping wagon again).  The textiles are lovely – and the crafts.  Pretty much anything you buy at stores like Cost Plus World Market and Pier 1 are made in Indonesia – I know because they have shop after shop after shop with the same types of vases and small tables and wall hangings.  All in all it was kind of a lazy stay – which was needed after two weeks of manual labor in Viet Nam!

 

And so I live – though generally a sweaty, bug-bitten mess (Deet has failed me).  If I came back here I might look to do the other side of the southern coastline and try to stay in a hotel in an upper story room …  let’s just say this lovely villa could use some structural work to shore up leaks and holes.  There are so many different islands in Indonesia – you could plan a really fascinating trip  –  but don’t underestimate the importance of being comfortable in your hotel or homestay!